We must congratulate the top ten Grade 6 students this year. The cream of the quintessential crop. Hard work and perseverance will do that every time. Of course a stable home life and proper meals help a lot…..and clean clothes….and a safe environment to study in…no bullets whistling pass your ear, no studying in the blackout because we ain’t got money for de light bill dis month and GP&L come and see de illegal connection and tek out de whole line….enough textbooks, exercise books, pencils……..anyway, congratulations again, especially to those among you whose rooms have enough books and electronics to set up your own stores.
Speaking of stores, yours truly is planning to take advantage of the food crisis and the advice of our very own Minister of Agri, aspiring prez and holder of the esteemed MBA, Mr.Rober Persaud. We will grow more and sell it. Yes, as a citizen of Guyana and a taxpayer (well for the most part anyway), I intend to appropriate a piece of land (Robert’s got quite a lot by his Ministry) and plant the grounds, erect a makeshift stall in front and make a fabulous profit. Cha-Ching$$!!
If that fails, well there’s still the script for the Hollywood version of the hostage rescue from FARC to do. We’ll just replace Ingrid Betancourt with Julia Roberts, have the other hostages play supporting roles, kill out her husband and get Brad Pitt to lead the rescue team….who wouldn’t pay to see those two make out- yes, a naked Brad Pitt…..with any luck, they’ll let me direct too. Or maybe clean his trailer. Whatever. As long as I get a glimpse.
I wonder who’s the ‘eyewitness’ who got a ‘glimpse’ of the Lindo creek murders, oops, alleged murders. No need for any British or Americans to tell us what happened anymore. All they have to do is give him the per diem instead. Or her. The Americans are overrated anyway. Hell, Sherlock Holmes didn’t need forensics and SWAT and all that. We must begin to have more faith in the members of our hardworking Police Farce, sorry Force. After all, at the pay (or lack thereof) and conditions they work under, they should be given awards for patriotism. Forget the medals for bravery collecting dust somewhere. Who needs those anyway?
Kudos to the government for the excellent efforts they have made with CARIFESTA. What more can us Guyanese possibly ask for….food? Lower rent? Lower light bills? Better roads? Safe neighbourhoods? No drugs? Ya’ll just like to whine and cry pon people. Come out and party like de Main Street Lime and Guyexpo and fuhget all yuh problems nuh? Steuups. Think about all the benefits to tourism. By the end of the year we’ll have the dumb Americans beating down the doors (just like the World Cup Cricket) to experience the rapturous combination of eco-splendour and Jamaican-like hotties. I’m talking about the food, you perverts.
Have you been keeping abreast of the Roger Khan saga? If Guyana wasn’t so darn poor, we coulda mek li’l money with this movie, yes? Gollywood indeed. All the ingredients for box office- money, politics, sex, and a little twerp to play the lead/villain. Now that’d be a plus for tourism. Well anyway, the latest is that he’s trying to form an alliance with Hillary. For an undisclosed sum (negotiable of course), he could take good care of the competition. Together they’d be quite a team. When she’s president, she could get him a pardon and hire him to head the Secret Service. Pity he wasn’t born there. He might have been able to run for president. Ya’ll didn’t know he had political aspirations? Come now. Where ya’ll been? Why you think he end up like that? He wanted the wrong man position. Careful Robert. Which one? Sml.
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